How to be the person everyone wants to be around 💞
A bachelorette weekend in Arkansas and a lovely bride-to-be! 👰🏼♀️
Two weeks ago today, a friend of mine and I pulled up to an Air BNB in Fort Smith, Arkansas for our college roommate’s bachelorette weekend.
That evening, the bridal party snapped a photo on the dock of a nearby lake. I posted it on my Instagram story with a caption detailing how our bride “is so easy to celebrate.” Over the next day and a half in the lush Arkansas woods, I was reminded of how loved our bride is - I was reminded of how deeply Grace is known and cared for by both myself and the seven other women in the bridal party.
I’m blessed to have some awesome friendships of my own, most of which were formed during my college years. What struck me about my weekend in Arkansas, though, was how diverse Grace’s bridal party was, by which I mean there were friends present that she’d made in childhood, high school, college, and grad school. In other words, Grace’s closest friends span many years of her life and hail from three different states!
Since meeting her my freshman year of college, I’ve always tried to be more like Grace. She is vibrant, sweet, and considerate. God did something special with her! This trip gave me more insight into what makes Grace so loved by such a varied group of women.
Of course, at the heart of it, the reasoning is simple: Grace is so loved because she loves so well.
That conclusion may seem obvious, but bear with me. There’s more to it.
What does it really mean to “love well”?
What does it mean to be especially kind, thoughtful, and empathetic?
Most of us have heard the “golden rule” of Matthew 7:12: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Grace does this, but to the max - she treats well the people who treat her well, but she also treats well the people who don’t treat her well.
Of course, there’s a passage about this in Matthew, too. It’s Matthew 5:43-45, where Christ advises His followers, “You have heard it said ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
If you’re unaware of the Gospel message, here’s a summary to help you follow where I’m going with this: Because of our sin, we are separated from our Creator, God. He sent his Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life on earth, die on the cross, and rise again three days later, therefore paying for our sins in full. Should we repent of our sins and believe in the death and resurrection of Christ, we shall be purified of all unrighteousness and will get to spend eternity in Heaven with Him.
So, what Christ is saying in Matthew 5 is that we are to love and pray for our enemies, just as our Father loves us! Just as our Father gave up His Son for our salvation. Just as our Father allowed us to kill our Savior so that we might be saved.
Grace loves like this.
As a result, everyone who meets her wants to be nearer to her! She exudes the love we were built for, the love we yearn for every day, because the Spirit of our heavenly Father acts in and through her.
So, how can we all love like this?
From this article and many of my other pieces, you may have surmised that I’m a Christian. Naturally, then, my first point of advice is the only one which I can guarantee will bring you the true peace and love you need.
That is to accept and know Jesus Christ our Lord.
In terms of daily practices that make those around you feel loved, though, here are a few things I’ve seen Grace and countless other well-loved people do:
Really listen to others. Sometimes, the people around you just need you to lend an ear (or a shoulder to cry on). Instead of hurrying to interject with advice, listen first - even when it’s hard. Be empathetic - try to feel their joys or hurts, understand their frustrations, and relate to their emotions. If you really can’t empathize, at least try to sympathize! Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Then, when they’re finished speaking, you can offer your loving advice.
Remind your friends that you love them. Obviously, you can tell your friends you love them - and if you do love them, then you should! The most loved I’ve felt by friends like Grace, though, was when they showed me their love. I’ve received encouraging notes before big exams, hand-made birthday cards, and thoughtful gifts that reminded me how cared for I really was. While I was living with Grace in college, I even received the occasional surprise latte or found the dishes already done when it was my turn to do them - now that’s love!
Give your friends the best gift you can give them: your time. Your time is one of the only things you can’t either get back or get more of. Giving your friends your time - whether to hang out, run an errand for or with them, make a gift or card for them, etc. - is truly the best gift you can give them. When you’re busy, it can be difficult to make time for maintaining friendships. This is especially true when your friends are going through something tough and need more of your time than usual. But freely giving your friends your time is how you get to know and love them deeply! Spending time together is SO worth it.
Grace is exceptional at these ways of showing love to her friends. Celebrating her in Arkansas was fun, sweet, and easy - because she’d already spent years sacrificially loving everyone else.
I don’t know about you, but when I get married, I want to be surrounded by friends that love me like Grace’s friends love her.
I want to be the person that exudes joy, comfort, and care.
I want to be the person that everyone wants to be around, so I’m taking lessons from the people I love to be around!
💡Challenge!
Think of a person you know that “everyone wants to be around.” Who comes to mind? What about them is so joyful or alluring? Let us know in the comments below! ✨
