The Conformity of American "Individualism"
Are independence and individuality lies in the U.S.A.?
Ok, I know I worded that teaser like this was about to be a very conspiratorial post. But it’s not - well, at least I don’t think so.
This post is less about conspiracy and more about my observations as a midwesterner-turned Texan. In trying to be a more attentive person, which I’ve chatted about briefly here, I have recognized some recurrent patterns that appear in American behavior, all the way from California to New York and everywhere in between.
One of the most distinct patterns I’ve noticed is the stereotypical American drive to be independent - and the resultant focus on individualism within American society. We’ve all heard a little mention of this before, likely in the classroom when your teacher went over more “communal” or “family-centered” cultures, such as those of China, India, or a number of Latin American countries. You were probably taught about how this sharply differs from American culture, which, on the aggregate, centers more around the need to become independent from one’s family - Americans want to get out and “spread their wings,” per se.
I am a prime example of this. I graduated high school in the Dayton, Ohio area and I couldn’t imagine staying anywhere near Ohio - simply because everyone I knew was, and I wanted to be different. I wanted to go far away, write my own story, restart with a “clean slate” that would allow me to showcase my “impressive” ability to be independent. So, naturally, I went all the way to Texas to attend Baylor University, while most of my high school peers went to Ohio universities, and my entire family remained up north.
While I’m proud of this decision and I still believe it was the best choice for me, it highlights something within my story that is very poignant in American culture - the need for independence. However, this observation is NOT the interesting part of my post (I swear!). What I’ve found to be the most interesting aspect of the American drive for “independence” is the stark contrast between that drive and the reality of our society - a society heavily dependent on conformity and groupthink.
This can be observed historically, but it’s especially apparent in modern-day America. We strive to be individualistic and unique, yet we often confine ourselves to groups that think like us or support what we already believe to be true. Psychologist Peter Wason’s popular term “confirmation bias” sums this up well - we tend to seek out information that confirms what we already believe. We read and watch news that agree with our inclinations, we join online and in-person communities that support us (and rarely challenge us), we even have mental arguments with imaginary “enemy” groups in the shower (oh, that’s just me?). Taking this a step further, it’s no surprise that we tend to become more deeply entrenched in the belief systems we began with - the systems, consequently, which those close to us agree with. This leads into yet another frequently mentioned psychological phenomenon: group polarization, a reality which can quickly become very dangerous for a society (I’ll certainly go into more detail on this in a future post 😊).
My point is, as Americans, we want to be unique, independent, and individualistic - but we don’t do a very good job of it (even though we think we do!). This applies to countless aspects of American culture, whether it be politics, economics, religion, family life, music, movies… the list goes on.
Oftentimes our pursuit of variety becomes (or always has been) a pursuit of conformity.
It’s almost as if by participating in groupthink that’s different from that of our parents or some other “enemy” group, we are able to trick ourselves into believing that we’re unique. We’re “swimming against the current,” we’re “fighting the new wave,” or, in some cases, we’re even “on the right side of history.” We believe that we are oppressed because we are different, and that makes us special. But how unique (and, by extension, how oppressed) can we really be when half of the country agrees with us?
My personal opinion here: There is a little part of us that wants to be different, for sure. There’s something in our hearts that makes us desire to be special and unique from others. However, we need the approval of others to make our uniqueness feel that sense of “special” that we are really striving for. In searching for that approval, we convince ourselves to become “unique” by conforming to a group, whether it be a religious or atheistic organization, a pro or anti-LGBTQ+ group, a pro-choice or pro-life march, or the nerdy friend group or cool friend group in high school. There’s really no end to our desire to be special, so there’s really no end to our desire to fit in.
Brilliant post and so true Emma. As humans, and as our nature, we need to belong and have something in common with others. As Americans, we also need to be free thinkers and stand-alone...Those two don't mix very well. We don't do a good job, because it's virtually impossible to answer both of those needs - but I believe that we are blessed in this country that we at least have the opportunity to fail in the attempt. If that makes any sense to anyone but me. - Jim
Exactly, Emma. It’s so funny to see people trying to act and dress and talk as outsiders — while carefully mimicking their peers doing and saying and dressing alike.
It’s the rare person who sees all around them this conformity going on, and then says, nope, imma gonna do this instead. Those, of course, are the real independents.